Polygamy No-nos – advice for sisters in polygamous marriages   Leave a comment


 

Polygamy, like other marriages, has its share of trials but there are ways that you can make it easier on yourself and everyone involved.

Tip #1. Try not to compare yourself to your co-wife. Remember that every person has their strengths and their weaknesses. This is a trick from Shaytan to make you doubt your worth. Try to defeat your insecurities and BE SECURE IN YOURSELF. Good men love secure women.

#2. Do not criticize your husband and co-wife to ANYONE…..Especially to each other. It’s enough to mention that it’s backbiting and therefore haram.

#3. Ask your husband not to discuss their marriage to you and do not inquire into their marriage.

#4. If for some reason your husband mentions a “possible divorce” from her…..Do not get your hopes up even if they do divorce. There is a lot of time to make up. Don’t forget the 3 months iddah and two times they are able to get back together.

#5. . Do not divulge any intimate details about your husband or about yourself. This is haram and very unwise.

#6. Try as much as possible not to let your children see you bitter about their relationship because they may start to have negative feelings towards polygamy in general and their father or his wife in particular. If your co-wife has children with your husband, make sure that your kids have access to each other.

#7. If all of your Islamic rights are met then NEVER ask for a divorce. He may just give it to you and you might not have meant it….so why even go there? A lot of us threaten without any intention of leaving and this is haram.

#8. Never ask your hubby questions you may not like the answers to. Examples: Do you love her more than me? Do you think she’s prettier? Do you ever think of her when you’re with me?

#9. Do not listen in on phone conversations he is having with her. Ask him politely if he can take it in the other room and if he doesn’t then you remove yourself from that position and go somewhere else.

#10. Do not forget to ask Allah to make the tests easy on you, to take away any destructive jealousy from you heart, and to bless your marriage and anything else you’d like to add. Try your best to be patient and accept the Qadr of Allah.

Posted February 10, 2011 by thesunnahway in Polygamy

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