Archive for the ‘Naseeha’ Category

Advice to individuals and Websites by Moosa Richardson   Leave a comment

All praise is due to Allaah, and may He raise the rank of His Messenger…

1) Present beneficial articles that help the Muslims understand their Religion with evidences and clear language.

2) Translate the best and most suitable things for eager new Muslims from the recognized scholars of Islaam of past and present.

3) Clearly identify the sources of the articles. Make this an essential piece of information that you simply do not allow yourselves to publish without. a) Cite the URL of reliable websites, like those officially overseen by the scholars themselves. b) Cite the name of the Arabic printed book, with its printing information (publisher, which printing, year, etc.). c) Cite the name of the recording with all info that identifies it (like tape no. 5, or track no 13, 1:11:43 (the time where the quoted words begin), etc.

4) Clearly identify the translator, using a name that he/she is known by. Academic responsibility takes precedence here over an assumed level of sincerity (when the translator claims he wants to remain anonymous). Make this an essential piece of information that must be published with your articles as well.

5) If you do not want to cite the name of the translator because you feel he/she is not trustworthy, then why are you publishing his/her material in the first place?!

 6) Avoid so called ‘compilations’ by those less than the scholars, or those whose compilations have not been reviewed and approved by the scholars. Typical examples of this are: Compiled from the works of So-and-So… or Taqwaa, from the works of Ibn Rajab, Ibn Katheer, and Ibn al-Qayyim, etc. Compilations are a type of ta’leef (authorship), and being salafee and having good intentions does not mean that a person is capable of this academic task.

7) Do not rely on newspaper articles, blogs, tweets, or even message boards as sources of information, even if only reliable scholars are quoted. The recent fitnah in the Arab lands and the ill-intended, twisted and outright false reports of journalists have proven to be tactfully deceitful and misleading. Journalists are hasty people who rush to finish their writings daily before print deadlines. This is the exact opposite approach we must take in times of fitnah – careful consideration and deliberation, choosing silence over any doubtful benefit. 8) Review your work carefully. A qualified and sincere student who translates with good intentions should have no problem having someone he feels is a better translator than him review his work (at least the hardest parts), and then a proper English editor before publishing. This may be difficult for someone whose intentions are flawed. Anyone who feels these points have some benefit in them should carefully review the following article as well: And Allaah knows best.

Moosaa ibn John Richardson

Posted July 11, 2011 by thesunnahway in Naseeha

Good Manners when Dealing with the Creation   Leave a comment

AUTHOR: Shaikh Muhammad bin Saalih Al-‘Uthaimeen SOURCE:

Makaarim-ul- Akhlaaq (pg. 23-31)


As for having good manners with the creation, then some of them have defined it as withholding abuse, extending kindness and having a cheerful countenance. This has been mentioned as a saying of Al-Hasan Al-Basree, may Allaah have mercy on him. [1] First: The Meaning of Withholding Abuse: What is meant by withholding abuse is that a person refrains from harming others whether financially, spiritually or socially (i.e. by harming his reputation). So whoever does not withhold from harming the creation, he does not possess good manners. On the contrary, he is ill-mannered. The Messenger proclaimed the prohibition of harming a Muslim through any means of abuse. He did this during the greatest of gatherings in which he congregated with his ummah, saying: “Indeed, your blood (i.e. lives), your wealth and your honor are sacred for you just like the sanctity of this day of yours in this month of yours in this land of yours.” [2] If a man transgresses against people by taking their wealth or by committing fraud or by deceiving them or by hitting them and committing a crime against them or by reviling, backbiting or slandering them, such a person is not good-mannered towards people. This is since he has not refrained from harming others. And the sin of this becomes even greater every time his bad manners are directed towards someone who has a bigger right over you. So maltreatment of your parents, for example, is worse than you treating anyone else bad. Maltreatment of your relatives is worse than you treating strangers bad. And maltreatment of your neighbors is worse than treating those who are not your neighbors bad. This is why the Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “By Allaah, he does not believe! By Allaah, he does not believe! By Allaah, he does not believe!” They (i.e. the Companions) said: “Who O Messenger of Allaah?” He said: “He whose neighbor is not safe from his calamities.” [3] Second: The Meaning of Extending Kindness: The word nadaa (kindness) means generosity and courtesy, i.e. to extend one’s generosity and courtesy to others. Generosity does not mean what some people think it to be, which is giving money only. Rather, generosity can also be by way of giving one’s self, offering one’s status (to assist), donating one’s wealth and spreading one’s knowledge. If we see an individual taking care of the people’s needs by helping them, directing their affairs to those who are not able to reach them, spreading his knowledge amongst the people and donating his wealth to them, can we describe this man as having good manners? Yes, we can say he has good manners because he has extended kindness and generosity. This is why the Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Fear Allaah wherever you may be, and follow up an evil deed with a good deed, (for) it will wipe it out. And treat the people with good manners.” [4] What falls under treating the people with good manners is: If you are oppressed and maltreated by someone, you should pardon and forgive that person. Allaah has praised those who pardon others, as He says about the inhabitants of Paradise: “Those who spend (in Allaah’s Cause) during times of prosperity and adversity, who repress anger and who pardon people. Verily, Allaah loves the good-doers.” [Surah Aali ‘Imraan: 134] And Allaah says: “And to forego is closer to piety (Taqwaa).” [Surah Al-Baqarah: 237] And He says: “And let them pardon and forgive.” [Surah An-Noor: 22] And He says: “So whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allaah.” [Surah Ash-Shooraa: 40] A person is in constant contact with people, so he will most definitely encounter some bad treatment from people. But his stance with regard to this bad treatment should be that of pardoning and overlooking. And he should know for certain that by pardoning, overlooking, and responding with good, the animosity that exists between him and his brother will transform to amicability, love and friendship. Allaah says: “The good deed and the evil deed are not equal. Repel (the evil) with that which is better, then behold, the one between whom he and you there was enmity (will become) as though he were a close friend.” [Surah Fussilat: 34] Those of you who have knowledge of the Arabic language should reflect on how the end-result is derived here via the abrupt mention of “idhaa” (which means “then behold” here). The abrupt mention of this word indicates that the result (at the end of the ayah) will come to pass immediately, and that is: “ýthen behold, the one between whom he and you there was enmity (will become) as though he were a close friend.” However, not everyone is granted this same result. This is why Allaah says: “But none are granted it except those who are patient. And none are granted it except those who possess a great portion (of moral character).” [Surah Fussilat: 35] Do we understand from this that pardoning a criminal is praiseworthy in the absolute sense and that it is something that we were ordered to do? Some people have come up with this understanding based on this verse. However, it should be known that pardoning should only be commended if forgiving is the best and most advisable option. However, if retribution is the best option then doing that is better. This is why Allaah says: “The recompense for an evil is an evil the like thereof. But whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allaah. Verily, He likes not the wrongdoers.” [Surah Ash-Shooraa: 40] So here Allaah has linked forgiveness with reconciliation. quote: So it is possible that forgiveness may not necessarily mean reconciliation. For example, it could be that this individual who committed a crime against you and was insolent towards you is an evil man who is known for being evil and corrupt, and so if you were to forgive him, he would persist in his evil and mischief. In this situation, it is better that this man is punished for his crime since there is reconciliation in this. Shaikh-ul-Islaam Ibn Taimiyyah said: “Reconciliation is obligatory whereas forgiveness is optional. So in the event that forgiveness will cause reconciliation to be bypassed, this means that we have given precedence to something optional over something obligatory. And the religious legislation did not come to institute this.” And he has spoken truthfully, may Allaah have mercy on him. An Important Note: I would like to take this opportunity to point out something that many people do today with the intention of being good and sympathetic. And it is that when a person gets into an accident and as a result another person dies, the guardians of the deceased come and revoke the blood-money that is owed by this offender that committed the accident. So is their canceling of the blood-money praiseworthy and considered as being from good manners or does this issue have more detail to it? There is more detail required on this issue. We must reflect and ponder on the condition of this offender who has caused this accident. Is he from among those people who are known to be careless and inconsiderate? Does he fall into the type of people that say: “I don’t care if I run over somebody on the road because I already have his blood-money prepared inside my desk” and we seek refuge in Allaah! Or is he someone who has fallen into an accident even though he employed complete discretion and complete poise and balance, but in spite of this Allaah had already decreed all things to come to pass? If he falls under the second category of people, then forgiving him is better. However, even if he does fall under this second category of prudent and well-poised people, before we forgive him, we must look to see if the victim has any debt he owes. If the victim owes a debt, we cannot forgive the offender. And had we already pardoned the offender, the pardon would be dismissed. This is an issue that perhaps many people are unaware of. We say this because the heirs will assume entitlement of this blood-money from the victim that was killed in an accident, and their entitlement will not be satisfied until they pay back the deceased’s debt if he owed someone money. This is why when Allaah mentions inheritance, He says: “(The distribution in all cases is) after the payment of legacies he may have bequeathed or a debt (he owes).” [Surah An-Nisaa: 11] The point is that forgiving people is part of good manners and it falls under the realm of extending kindness to others. This is since extending kindness can either be in the form of giving something or in the form of revoking something, and pardoning falls under revoking something. Third: A Cheerful Countenance: Having a cheerful countenance means that your face is radiant and illuminated when you come in contact with other human beings. The opposite of this is to appear with a gloomy face. This is why the Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Do not think little of any good deed, even if it is encountering your brother with a cheerful face.” [5] A poet put this understanding into a verse, saying: “My son, indeed piety can be something so trivial, as a cheerful face and a soft-spoken tongue.” So a cheerful face allows happiness to enter into people; it brings out love and amiability; and it causes the heart to expand – both yours and those you encounter. On the other hand, if you always appear upset, people will run away from you. They will not be happy sitting with you or talking to you. Perhaps you may even be afflicted with psychological problems. You may be suffering from a dangerous disease known as stress. If so, then being happy and having a cheerful face is from the most effective treatments one can use to combat this disease. This is why doctors advise those who are afflicted with this illness to keep away from those things that cause them to be instigated and angered since that will only cause their sickness to grow. So being happy and having a cheerful face causes this disease to be exterminated. And as a result of these two characteristics, a person will become loved by the people and dear to them. These are the three foundations that good manners when dealing with the creation revolve around. Also from the signs of good manners towards creation is: That a person observes good relations with those friends and relatives that he is contact with. He should not be bothered by them nor should he inconvenience them. On the contrary, he should cause happiness to go into their hearts according to the extent that he is able to, within the confines of Allaah’s Legislation. This restriction is absolutely necessary since there are some people who cannot be made happy except with things that are disobedience to Allaah, and we seek refuge in Allaah! So we should not consent with him in this. However, causing happiness and joy to enter into those you keep ties with whether they are your family members, friends or relatives according to the limits of the Religion is part of having good manners. This is why the Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “The best of you are those who are the best towards their family. And I am the best of you towards my family.” [6] Many people, unfortunately, display good manners in front of people yet they do not behave in the same manner towards their family. This is extremely wrong and the opposite of how things should be. How can you have good manners in front of strangers yet bad manners in front of your own family? Someone may say: Because I take care of them and support them! We respond by saying: This is not something that should cause you to display bad manners towards them. Your family members and relatives have the most right out of all people that you should be good-mannered towards them when accompanying and spending time with them. This is why when a man once asked the Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam): “O Messenger of Allaah, who has the most right amongst people of my good companionship” , he (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) replied: “Your mother.” The man said: “Then who?” He replied: “Your mother.” The man said: “Then who?” He replied: “Your mother.” The man said: “Then who?” He replied: “Your father.” [7] In spite of this, some people behave contrary to this. So you will find him having a bad relationship with his mother while having a good relationship with his wife. So he gives having good ties with his wife precedence (over having good ties with his mother) whereas the status of his wife before him is like that of a captive. The Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Take care of the women for indeed they are like captives before you.” [8] In summary: Keeping good relations with family, friends and relatives is all part of having good manners. Footnotes: [1] See al-Adaab-ush- Shar’eeyah (2/216); There are also other definitions for good manners such as the definition of Al-Waasitee, where he said: “It is when one does not argue due to his complete awareness of Allaah. It is also said it means the relinquishment of immoral characteristics and the adornment of virtuous characteristics. It is also said that it means offering the good while withholding the vile. Sahl was once asked about it so he replied: ‘The lowest form of it is showing, tolerance, lack of retribution and mercy towards the wrongdoer, while asking Allaah to forgive him and showing sympathy towards him.'” [Refer to Madaarij-us- Saalikeen of Ibn Al-Qayyim (2/294), Ihyaa ‘Uloom-id-Deen of Abu Haamid Al-Ghazaalee (3/53) and al-Adaab-ush- Shar’eeyah (2/216)] [2] Reported by Al-Bukhaaree (no. 67, 1741 & 4406) and Muslim (no. 29 & 30) [3] Reported by Al-Bukhaaree (no. 6016) and by Muslim (no. 73) with the wording: “He whose neighbor is not safe from his calamities will not enter Paradise.” [4] Reported by At-Tirmidhee (no. 1987) who said it was “hasan saheeh” and Ahmad in al-Musnad (4/153, 158 & 236) from Abu Dharr and Mu’aadh bin Jabal, may Allaah be pleased with them. It is also found in Saheeh al-Jaami’-us- Sagheer (no. 97) [5] Reported by Muslim (no. 144) and in extended form by At-Tirmidhee (no. 1833) [6] Reported by At-Tirmidhee (no. 3895) and Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh (no. 1312 of al-Mawaarid) from the narration of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her; It is found in Saheeh al-Jaami’-us- Sagheer (no. 3314); It was also reported by Ibn Maajah (no. 1977) from the narration of Ibn ‘Abbaas (radyAllaahu ‘anhu). [7] Reported by Al-Bukhaaree (no. 5971), Muslim (no. 201) and Ibn Maajah (no. 2706) [8] Reported by At-Tirmidhee (no. 3087) who said it was “hasan saheeh” Published on: May 20, 2007

Posted July 11, 2011 by thesunnahway in Naseeha

Beautiful piece of naseeha from Al-Khateeb al-Baghdadi   Leave a comment


Act upon your knowledge and you will profit




O man Knowledge does not benefit so long as one does not perfect his actions Knowledge is beauty and Taqwa (Fear) of Allah is its decoration


Those with Taqwa are always preoccupied with their knowledge


The proof of Allah, O possessor of knowledge, is immense


Neither plotting nor scheming concerning it is of any use


Acquire knowledge and perform deeds as much as you can


And do not let vain pastimes and argumentation distract you


Always make it your goal to benefit the people


And beware, beware of fatigue and weariness overtaking you


Admonish your brother with gentleness when he makes a mistake


For knowledge is affectionate with those who are overcome by errors


And if you are amidst a people that have no religious morals


Then command them to do good when they act ignorantly (i.e. sin)


And if they disobey you, then remind them without getting annoyed


And be patient, strive in patience and do not let their actions worry you


For every goat is attached to its two feet


Have patience whether they are oppressive or fair.”






al-Khateeb al-Baghdadi’s ‘Iqtida’ al-’Ilm al-’Amal’





Posted July 11, 2011 by thesunnahway in Great Sayings, Naseeha

Advice Concerning the Usage of Time By Shaykh Muhammad Ibn Saalih al-’Uthaymeen   1 comment

The Shaykh was asked, “What are your guidelines concerning usage of time, and protecting it from being wasted?”

 He answered saying, “It is necessary for a student of knowledge to protect his time from being wasted. Time-wasting occurs in a number of ways:

1. That one leaves learning and revising what one has read.

2. That one sits with his friends and indulges in vain talk which contains no benefit.

3. This is the most harmful of them upon a student of knowledge: That he has no concern except pursuing people’s statements, [for] “maa qeela wa qaala”(What was said and what he said), and [for] “maa hasala wa maa yahsul” (What occurred and what is taking place), regarding an issue of no concern to him.

 No doubt, this is from a weak Islaam, as the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “From a person’s good Islaam is to leave that which doesn’t concern him.” Busying oneself with “Qeela wa qaala(What was said and what he said), and excessive questioning are time-wasters.

 In reality it is a disease which, when it comes into man – we ask Allaah for well-being – it becomes his greatest concern. He may show enmity to one who does not deserve enmity, or he may ally one who doesn’t deserve alliance due to concerning himself with these issues, which busy himself away from knowledge, with the pretext of “championing the truth”, while this is not the case.Rather, this is pertaining to occupying oneself with an issue which does not concern him.

 If a report comes to you, without you having pursued it or sought it, then all people receive news but they don’t busy themselves with it, nor does it become their greatest concern, because this occupies the student of knowledge. It corrupts his affair, and opens for the ummah the door of hizbiyyah (partisanship) then the ummah will split.” [1] [2]


[1] This fatwaa (Islaamic verdict) is taken from “Kitaabul-’Ilm” of Shaykh ‘Uthaymeen compiled by Shaykh Fahd ibn Naasir ibn Ibraaheem as-Sulaymaan, printed by Daar ath-Tharya lin-Naashir (First print 1417H/1996CE), (pp. 204-205).

[2] Collected by Imaam Ahmad(1/201) and Tirmidthee (2318). An-Nawawee declared it Hasan in ‘Riyaadhus-Saliheen’ (p. 73). Ahmad Shaakir declared it ‘Saheeh’ in ‘Al-Musnad’ (1737).

Posted January 12, 2011 by thesunnahway in Naseeha

How Muslims should behave in Non-Muslim societies: sheikh Uthmaymeen advices   Leave a comment

How Muslims should behave in Non-Muslim societies: sheikh Uthmaymeen advices


This advice was possibly the last this noble Scholar gave to Muslims in the West before he passed away –

Note that this advice came before the September 11th 2001 attacks in New York, before the Madrid train bombs and before the July 7th 2005 tube bombings in London. So the advice is not driven by a desire to rectify in hindsight, but a sincere and truthful desire to guide and advise the Muslims in the West on how to co-exist in the correct legislated manner.

The esteemed and late Shaikh Muhammad bin Salih al-’Uthaimin of Saudi Arabia stated, during a tele-link in the evening of Friday, 28th July 2000:

“…Likewise I invite you to have respect for those people who have the right that they should be respected, those between whom there is an agreement (of protection) for you. For the land in which you are living is such that there is an agreement between you and them. If this were not the case they would have killed you or expelled you. So preserve this agreement, and do not prove treacherous to it, since treachery is a sign of the hypocrites, and it is not from the way of the Believers. And know that it is authentically reported from the Prophet that he said, “Whoever kills one who is under and agreement of protection will not smell the fragrance of Paradise.”Do not be fooled by those sayings of the foolish people, those who say ‘Those people are Non-Muslims, so their wealth is lawful for us (to misappropriate or take by way of murder and killing).’ For by Allaah – this is a lie. A lie about Allaah’s Religion, and a lie about Islamic societies.So we may not say that it is lawful to be treacherous towards people whom we have an agreement with.O my brothers. O youth. O Muslims. Be truthful in your buying and selling, and renting, and leasing, and in all mutual transactions. Because truthfulness is from the characteristics of the Believers, and Allaah – the Most High – has commanded truthfulness – in the saying of Allaah – the Most High -“O you who believe – fear and keep you duty to Allaah and be with the truthful”And the Prophet encouraged truthfulness and said, “Adhere to truthfulness, because truthfulness leads to goodness, and goodness leads to Paradise; and a person will continue to be truthful, and strive to be truthful until he will be written down with Allaah as a truthful person“.And he warned against falsehood, and said, “Beware of falsehood, because falsehood leads to wickedness, and wickedness leads to the Fire. And a person will continue lying, and striving to lie until he is written down with Allaah as a great liar.”O my brother Muslims. O youth. Be true in your sayings with your brothers, and with those Non-Muslims whom you live along with – so that you will be inviters to the Religion of Islaam, by your actions and in reality. So how many people there are who first entered into Islaam because of the behaviour and manners of the Muslims, and their truthfulness, and their being true in their dealings.”

So this is the way of the Wise Legislation, that guides the Muslims. This is the way of the Sal afi Scholars, the scholars who possess wisdom and guide to the Prophetic way.

Posted January 12, 2011 by thesunnahway in Naseeha

An advice from ‘Umar radiallaahu anhu   Leave a comment

It is reported that ‘Umar b. Al-Khattâb – Allâh be pleased with him – said:

Whoever exposes himself to suspicion, let him blame only himself for whoever suspects him.

He who covers his secret is in a position to choose [to correct himself].

Assume the best about your brother until what comes to you from him overcomes you [and you have to change your opinion].

Never do you pay back someone who disobeys Allâh in his dealings with you with the likes of obeying Allâh in your dealings with him.

Take righteous brothers [as friends]; acquire them in plenty, for they are a beautification in prosperity and an aid during calamity.

Do not ask about what has not yet happened until it actually happens, for what has happened is enough of an occupation to worry about what has not happened.

Let not your speech be given freely except to those who want to hear it and will value it.

Do not seek help in fulfilling a need you have except from someone who wants success for you in that endeavor.

Do not consult except people who fear Allâh, and do not accompany the sinner, [lest]  you learn his sinfulness.

And be humble at the graves.

Abû Dâwûd, Kitâb Al-Zuhd article 89.


Posted January 12, 2011 by thesunnahway in Naseeha

It is only the time one dedicates to Allah that constitutes one’s real life and age   Leave a comment

Time Is Not Money (The Muslim’s Duty Regarding Time)

Islam encourages Muslims to care for time, to utilize it and not to waste it. Besides, it holds them responsible for their time. The Righteous Salaf were aware of that responsibility, so they acted accordingly. Describing their care for time, Hassan Al-Basry said, “I saw those people and how they were more careful about their time than about their Dirhams and Dinars [i.e. their money].” [Abdullah Ibn-Al-Mubarak, “Az-Zuhd” (Asceticism), p.51.]
An important requirement for a Muslim’s life is to be careful about time, to invest it wisely and to benefit from it. In this regard, Ibn-ul Qayyim says, “The highest, most worthy and most useful of reflection is what is intended for Allah and the Hereafter. There are various forms of reflection intended for Allah. One of them is reflecting on time duty and function and focusing entirely on it, for the knowledgeable one is the breed of his time. If he wastes it, all his interests are wasted, for all interests arise from time. If he wastes his time, he can never regain it.” Also, Imam Shafi’i said, “Out of my company with Sufis, I benefited only two things, one of which is their saying: like a sword, time will cut you if you do not cut it. …” In other words, if you do not spend time doing something useful, you are the loser by wasting it.
As expressed by Imam Hassan Al-Banna, “Time is life itself.” This reflects Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah’s saying: “One’s time is in fact his age. It is the material of his eternal life either in everlasting joy or painful torture. It passes more quickly than clouds do. It is only the time one dedicates to Allah that constitutes one’s real life and age. The rest does not count; the life he leads in it is only animal life. Compared to a life of indulgence in appetitive activities, false aspirations and negligence of Allah’s remembrance – and at best in sleep and being idle – death is a much better alternative.”
Time is considered a vehicle for work. According to Ibn-ul-Qayyim, “The year is like a tree, months are its branches, days are the branch sticks, hours are its leaves, and the breaths are its fruits. Therefore, if one’s breaths are in obedience [to Allah and His Messenger], the fruits of his tree are good. If they are in disobedience, his fruits are bitter. The harvest is on the Appointed Day, when one’s fruits are found out to be either good or bitter.”
Such is the Islamic view of time, and such were the ways of the Salaf ways with it. How do we compare with them now?! Obviously, there is a big gap between the way they cared for time and the way we are wasting it. The sad and painful thing about us now is that “our nation has been improvising ways of wasting time at the public and the private levels. As a result, the world is already proceeding to the future without us, as if we were the ‘orphans of history’. If such improvisation is not directed to investing and utilizing our time properly, the gap between us and the future will widen further, and we will remain importers and consumers of cultural products. Eventually, our survival will be entirely dependent on the producers of those products.” [Khuldun Al-Ahdab, “Reflections on the Value of Time”] Therefore, Muslims must unite their efforts to identify weaknesses for treatment, and must give time its due attention as demanded by Islam.
The following are some of the most important duties demanded of Muslims:

  1. Ensuring benefiting from time
  2. Utilizing leisure time
  3. Racing for good deeds
  4. Learning from the passage of time
  5. Seeking the superior times
  6. Planning and organizing time
  7. Fulfillment of time commitments
  8. Necessary awareness of time wasters

Khaled Al-Jeraisy
Time Management – An Islamic View 

Posted January 12, 2011 by thesunnahway in Naseeha

You Cannot Please Everyone   Leave a comment

A man said to al-Hasan al-Basri (rahimahullah): ‘The people sit around you so that they may find fault with you!’ So he said, ‘Indeed, I encouraged my soul to aspire for Paradise so it aspired for it. Then I encouraged it to aspire for salvation from Hellfire and so it aspired for it. Then I encouraged it to aspire for salvation from the people, but I didn’t find a way to that. Indeed the people were not pleased with their Creator although He provides for them, so how can they be pleased with another creation like themselves?’ [1]
Prophet Musa (’alayhisalam) said: ‘O my Lord, the people say things about me which are not (i.e. not true)! So Allah revealed to him: ‘O Musa, I did not make that (privilege) for Myself, so how can I make it the case for you?’ [2]
Malik ibn Dinar: ‘Since I have known (the reality of) people, I have not taken delight in their praise nor have I hated their criticism.’ It was said to him, ‘Why is that?’ He said, ‘The one who praises from amongst them is excessive and the critic from amongst them exaggerates!’
[3]‘Aisha (radhiallahu `anha) wrote to Mu’awiya (radhiallahu `anhu): ‘Salamun ‘alayk. Amma ba’d, I have heard the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) say, ‘Whoever gains the Pleasure of Allah by the anger of the people (i.e. thereby gains their anger), Allah suffices him of the people’s troubles. And whoever gains the pleasure of the people by the Anger of Allah (i.e. in the process he gains His Anger), then Allah leaves him to the people.’ Wa-Salaamu ‘alayk.’ [4]
Imam al-Shafi’i: ‘There is nobody except that he has someone who loves him and someone who hates him. So if that’s the case, let a person be with the people who are obedient to Allah `azza wa jall!’ ( – as they love and hate for the Sake of Allah and they are not unjust) [5]
Note: InshAllah please do share!
[1] Al-Bidaya wal-Nihaya (9/318 )
[2] Al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah by Ibn Muflih (1/38 )
[3] Tarikh Dimishq (59/307)
[4] Reported by al-Tirmidhi in Kitab al-Zuhd (no. 2414), declared Sahih by al-Albani
[5] Hilyat al-Awliya (9/124)

Posted January 12, 2011 by thesunnahway in Inspirational, Naseeha

Is it permissible to continue in a marriage relationship where one spouse dislikes the other   Leave a comment

Question: Is it permissible to continue in a marriage relationship where one spouse dislikes the other, but he/she remains in the marriage due to the children present between them?

Answer: Marital relationships have rulings, just as other relationships have rulings, for example, the relationship between a servant and his Lord, a servant and himself, and a servant and other human beings. As for a marital relationship, each spouse has his/her rights, some rights are upon him/her, and other rights are due to him/her.  What is incumbent is that each spouse fulfills the rights that are upon them and seek what is due to them.  One should not refuse to perform his/her obligations, nor should one seek what does not rightfully belong to them.  This (marriage) is a relationship governed by Islamic rules and regulations. 

With regards to a spouse disliking the other, the reason for this dislike should be known and made aware of.  At times this reason is poor dealings between husband and wife.  A man may possibly dislike the treatment received by his wife, or the opposite.  It may also take place that a husband dislikes his wife due to her deficiency in Religion, for example she does not pray or fast, or (even worse) she commits adultery and allows men to enter her home at the absence of her husband.  In this case, it is legislated to divorce her based on her un-Islamic actions, in fact, it is not permissible to stay with her.

The Messenger –salAllahu alayhi wa salem- clearly stated the criteria for seeking a wife and a husband. He said:  “If someone approaches you (guardian of female) with good character and religion, then marry (to your females).  If you do not, there will be much evil and corruption spread.”

He –salAllahu alayhi wa salem- also said: “A female is married for 4 reasons, her wealth, her beauty, her status and her religion.  Look for the pious female, and may you hands be filled with dust (may you be successful).”

The Messenger –salAllahu alayhi wa salem- in these two narrations has informed of what and individual should look for in choosing a spouse. He made religion a criteria in both hadiths.  Therefore, if the dislike present between husband and wife is based on religious reasons, it’s possible that the best and only solution is divorce.

On the other hand, if the aversion is related to poor dealings between to spouses concerning (sexual) relations or problems related to service within the home, then these problems can be solved.  Some females are never satisfied, they always seek more and more, and some men have the same character, nothing satisfies them, but these sort of problems can be cured.

So in summery, (most) problems related to individual rights can be rectified.  Some men seek to impose their masculinity upon their wives.  I have heard that some men only approach their wives (intercourse) after beating them severely!

Another type of aversion may be caused by an outer force. This is (usually) categorized into three types:

  1. That which is caused by magic.
  2. That which is caused by demon (jinn) possession.  At times, female jinns possess (human) men and cause them to dislike their wives.  Male jinns also possess (human) females and cause them to dislike their husbands.
  3. Aversion caused by evil eye (al Ain).  The Messenger –salAllahu alayhi wa salem- said: “Indeed al Ain is true, and if anything was to proceed decree, it would be al Ain”

I was told of a man marrying a particular female and not having the ability to have relations with her for 12 years.  They lived a normal marital life except for this issue (sexual relations).  This trial was finally lifted when the person that placed the evil eye on the husband finally died, and after that, this couple lived a normal marital life.

So in summary, the outer elements that possibly create hatred between a husband and his wife are 3:

  1. Magic
  2. Jinn (demon possession)
  3. Evil eye (al Ain)


The last type of aversion is one created for some unknown reason.  There is nothing present of the above mentioned factors except that the spouses simply dislike on another. 

The point that I wish to make is that, in general, the reason for such dislike, hatred of aversion should be known (in order for a rectification to occur).  And by saying so, if rectification is possible, then this is what is befitting, but if not, then there is no problem in seeking a divorce.

Allah stated in the Quran:

{If discord is feared between them (husband and wife), then seek a representative from his side, and one from her side.  If they (husband and wife) desire rectification, Allah will give them success} surah al Nisaa:35

He (Allah) also stated:

{If a female fears discord and disagreement from her spouse, there is no problem in them seeking reconciliation} surah al Nisaa:128

Gathering with Sheikh Abdullah bin Abdul Rahman al Ghudiyan (October 14, 2007)

Posted January 12, 2011 by thesunnahway in Fatwas, Marriage, Naseeha

Reduce Socialization and Choose the Right Friends by sheikh Raslan‏   Leave a comment

Abu ‘Abdillah

Muhammad Sa’id Raslan
PAGEs 43-48

Reduce Socialization and Choose the Right Friends

People have always been greatly divided over the issue of mixing and seclusion. So, some

went with the opinion that one should always mix with the people, and some went with the

opinion that one should always seclude himself from the people, and everyone is satisfied

with his point of view.


Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have Mercy on him) touched upon this issueand clarified the dispute, saying:

“This issue – even though the people have differed over it, either partially or completely – the

reality of it is that mixing with the people is sometimes obligatory or recommended. The

same individual can sometimes be obligated to mix with others, and can at other times be

obligated to separate from them.

The way to properly reconcile between these two stands is to realize that mixing, if it

involves cooperation upon good and piety, is obligatory, and if it involves cooperation upon

sin and transgression, is forbidden. Mixing with the Muslims for the purpose of

congregational acts of worship, such as the five prayers, the Friday prayer, the

‘Id prayer, theeclipse prayer, the prayer for rain (

istisqa’), etc., is from what Allah and His Messenger (peacebe upon him) commanded. Such is also the case when mixing with the people during the


, to fight the disbelievers, Khawarij, and rebels, even if the leaders of and participants insuch activities are corrupt. This is also the case with a gathering in which the worshipper can

increase his faith – either because of it benefiting him, or he benefiting it.

And a person must have time alone to engage in supplication, remembrance, prayer,

reflection, take himself to account, and rectify his heart. These are issues that nobody else

can participate with him in, and these are affairs that need to be seen to on an individual

basis, whether at home or otherwise, as Tawus said: “How excellent of a refuge is the home!

In it, one can restrain his gaze and his tongue.” So, it is incorrect to mix with people

unrestrictedly, and it is incorrect to seclude yourself from people unrestrictedly. As for

exactly how much every person needs of each, and what is best for him at all times, this is

something that requires further investigation.

What is best is that one sometimes pick from the various types of worship based on their

inherent virtue (prayer is in itself better than recitation of the Qur’an, and recitation is better


dhikr, and dhikr is better than supplication), and sometimes based on what time of dayhe is in (recitation,

dhikr, and supplication after Fajr and ‘Asr are preferred over prayer), andsometimes based on the physical position he is in (

dhikr and supplication in bowing andprostration are legislated instead of recitation of the Qur’an, and

dhikr and supplicationduring

tawaf is legislated by consensus, while recitation of the Qur’an during tawaf is differedover), and sometimes based on his location (what is legislated at ‘Arafah, Muzdalifah, at the


, and at Safa and Marwah is dhikr and supplication instead of prayer, etc. and tawaf ofthe Sacred House for the visitor is better than prayer, and prayer is better for the inhabitants

of Makkah), and sometimes based on the appropriateness of the worship for the person



Jihad for men is better than Hajj, while the jihad of women is Hajj, and obedience to thehusband is better than obedience to the father for the married woman, as opposed to the

single woman who is commanded to obey her father), and sometimes based on the capability

of the servant, as the worship he is capable of is better for him than the worship he is

incapable of, even if what he is incapable of is inherently better. This is a point where many

people go to extremes and follow their desires: some people who see a certain action as

being better for them due to their own circumstances, or due to it being more beneficial to

their heart and a better way to obey their Lord, wish to then make this the best action for

everyone around them, and proceeds to command them to do the same.

And Allah sent Muhammad (peace be upon him) with the Book and Wisdom, and made him

to be a mercy and guide for the servants, commanding each person with what is best for

them. So, the Muslim should be a well-wisher to every person, wanting what is best for


112 And the scholars – may Allah be Pleased with them – would mix with the people and teach

them while simultaneously being the most careful of people of wasting their time, and

Ahmad (may Allah be Pleased with him) was the most patient of people upon being alone,

despite the fact that he was the

imam of the world during his time. His son, ‘Abdullah, said:“My father went out to Tarsus on foot, performed

Hajj two or three times on foot, and hewas the most patient of people upon being alone. Bishr, despite his status, was unable to

remain by himself, and would always go out to see this person and that.”

113 So, mixing and socialization should not be with one who has a dead heart, as he is like a

highway robber. Rather, it should be with one who will increase you in faith and action.

Ibn al-Qayyim said:

“The one with a dead heart will make you feel lonely. So, take advantage of his absence as

much as possible, because you will not feel lonely except when he is with you. If you are put

to trial with him, give him your outer attention, wander from him with your heart, separate

your inner self from him, and do not let him distract you from what is more deserving of

your attention.

Know that the greatest of losses is for you to be preoccupied with one who will bring you

nothing but a loss in your time with Allah – the Mighty and Majestic – and being cut off from

Him, wasting of your time on him, weakening of your energy, and dispersing of your

attention. So, if you are tested with this – and you must be tested with this – deal with him

according to how Allah would wish, and be patient with him as much as possible. Get closer

to Allah and His Pleasure by way of this person, and make your getting together with him

something to benefit from, not something to incur a loss from. Be with him as if you are a

man who is on a road who was stopped by another man, who then asks you to take him on

your journey. Make sure that you are the one who gives him a ride, and that he is not the one


‘Majmu’ al-Fatawa’  


‘Tarjamat al-Imam Ahmad’  


giving you the ride. If he refuses, and there is nothing to gain from traveling with him, do

not stop for him, bid him farewell, and do not even turn back to look at him, as he is a

highway robber regardless of who he really is.

So, save your heart, be wary of how you spend your days and nights, and do not let the Sun

set before you arrive at your destination.”

114 “So, the student of knowledge should abandon socialization, as this is from the most crucial

things that he can do, especially in regards to members of the opposite gender, and especially

with those who spend most of their time in amusement and little of their time in thought, as

the nature of others can rob you of your own. The harms of socialization include the passing

of your life without any benefit, as well as the decline of your wealth and religious

commitment if this socialization were to occur with the wrong people.

The student of knowledge should not mix except with those who he can benefit or can

benefit from. If he is offered the friendship of one who will waste his time with him, will not

benefit him, will not benefit from him, and will not assist him in reaching his objective, he

should politely end the relationship from the start before it progresses to something deeper,

as when something becomes established, it becomes more difficult to change it. There is a

phrase that is constantly on the tongues of the scholars: ‘Repelling something is easier than

removing it.’

If he requires someone to befriend, let that person be righteous, religious, pious, wary,

intelligent, full of benefit, having little evil, good at complying and rarely conflicting,

reminding him if he forgets, cooperating with him when he is reminded, helpful if he is in

need, and comforting if he is in distress.”

115 Ibn Qudamah (may Allah have Mercy on him) said:

“Know that not everyone is suitable to be your friend. You must verify that this potential

friend has the necessary characteristics that make friendship with him something to be

desired. The one you seek to befriend must have five characteristics:

He must be intelligent. There is no good in befriending an idiot, as he will only harm 

He must have good manners, and this is a must. One who is simply intelligent might 

He must not be a fasiq. Such a person would not fear Allah, and whoever does not

fear Allah cannot be trusted.


‘al-Wabil as-Sayyib’  


‘Tadhkirat as-Sami’ wal-Mutakallim’  


He must not be an innovator, as there is a fear of being overtaken by his innovation.

He should not be eager for the dunya.

‘Umar bin al-Khattab (may Allah be Pleased with him) said: “Stick with your true brothers. 

– The Rights of Brotherhood –

And each of you has certain rights upon his brother.

You should fulfill his needs, and this is of levels. The least is that you gladly fulfill his needs

when you are able and he asks you. Better than this is that you fulfill them before he even

asks you, and better than all of this is that you put his needs before your own.

You should remain silent regarding him at times, and speak at times. As for your silence, you

should be quiet about his faults, both in his presence and absence. You should not argue or

dispute with him, and shouldn’t ask him about personal things that he wouldn’t want to

reveal. If you happen to see him somewhere, don’t ask where he is going, as it might be that

he doesn’t want anyone to know. Don’t reveal his secrets, even if you fall into a feud

afterwards. Also, don’t insult his friends and family, and don’t inform him if others happen

to insult him.

Don’t say anything that could annoy him except if this involves something that must be said,

such as commanding the good or forbidding the evil, as this would actually be a way of being

good to him.

And know that you will never find a friend who is completely free of faults. Instead, look for

someone whose good qualities outweigh his bad. Once you are stricter in judging people

than you are in judging yourself, you fall into Allah’s Saying:




“Those who, when they have to receive by measure from men, demand fullmeasure, and when they have to give by measure or weight to men, give less than

their due.”


And know that one of the greatest means by which hatred and envy come between two

brothers is useless argumentation. This leads to nothing but each side trying to show itself as

being better and smarter than the other, belittling the other, etc. And he who picks

arguments with his brother has essentially made him out to be stupid, low, heedless, and

incompetent, and all of this is considered belittlement. This inflames the heart and makes

one person hate the other, and this is all contradictory to what brotherhood is all about.

The rights of brotherhood also entail that you say certain things. Just as you have to remain

silent from saying what you shouldn’t say, you should also say what should be said. In fact,

this is from the most particular rights of brotherhood, because the one who wants to

befriend the mute can go to the graveyard. The point of brotherhood is that you benefit

from your brother, not that you are relieved of him. So, you should strengthen your ties of

brotherhood with words by asking about him, asking how things are going, let him know

that you are concerned about him, and be happy with what makes him happy.

You should refer to him in the best light and praise him to others for the good that you

know of him. You should also speak well of his family, children, actions – even his character,

intellect, appearance, personality – and everything that can make him happy without going

into extremes or saying what is untrue. Likewise, you should inform him if someone says

something good about him while showing him that you are happy about this, as to hide such

joy is tantamount to envy.

You should thank him for anything he does for you, and defend him in his absence if he is

mentioned in a bad light, as the right between brothers is that they rush to defend and assist

one another.

You should teach and advise him, as your brother’s need for knowledge is not any less than

his need for money. So, if you have been blessed with a wealth of knowledge, distribute it

and guide him.

And you should advise him in secret, and the difference between advising and condemning

is whether you do it in public or private. Likewise, the difference between ignoring the fault

of your brother and compromising with him is all in the purpose of doing so. So, if you

ignore his fault for the sake of a religious benefit, or you see that this will lead to his longterm

benefit, you are not compromising. If you put aside his fault for your own personal

benefit, you are compromising.

You should supplicate for your brother during his life and after his death for everything you

want for yourself. Abu ad-Darda’ (may Allah be Pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet

(peace be upon him) said:

“The supplication of a Muslim man for his brother in hisabsence is accepted, and there is an Angel appointed for each supplication of a man

for his brother with good who says: ‘Allah, accept it, and give him the same that he




asks for his friend,’”

117 and Abu ad-Darda’ used to supplicate for many of his brothers,mentioning them by name in his supplications. Likewise, Ahmad bin Hambal used to

supplicate at dawn for six specific individuals.

You should make a pact to love your brother until death, and to love his family and friends

after his death. You should also not stop being humble with him even if you end up

exceeding him in wealth and status. From the implications of this pact is also that you do not

listen to criticism of your friend from others, and that you do not befriend his enemies.

You should also not task him with what he cannot bear. Rather, you should try to relieve

him of his own concerns and pressures, and should not use his friendship to get to his

wealth or resources, and should not pressure him to go out of his way to help you. Rather,

your love of him should only be for Allah’s Pleasure and to deal with him in an easygoing

and reserved manner, so that he would not hesitate to ask of you what you would ask of


Ja’far bin Muhammad said: “The most difficult friends are those who are a burden on me

and I try to avoid, and the easiest of friends are those whose presence is just as burdensome

as their absence (i.e. they are not at all burdensome).”

118 So, the student of knowledge should be sure to avoid those who should not be befriended in

order to preserve his time and protect his heart. He should choose the friend who will help

him in the matters of his religion and the Hereafter, and al-Khawarizmi (may Allah have

Mercy on him) said:

Do not befriend one who is lazy * How many righteous people have been corrupted by the corrupt?

The steadfast are quickly infected by the lazy * And burning coals simmer down when thrown into ashes.


‘Sahih al-Adab al-Mufrad’ (487) and ‘Sahih Ibn Majah’ (2358 

118 ‘Mukhtasar Minhaj al-Qasidin’ (p. 126-132)


; 2-3


You can live in comfort with them, as they are a delight in times of ease, and you can lean on

them in times of hardship. Assume the best about your brother until he comes with

something that should alarm you from him. Avoid your enemy, and beware of befriending

anyone but the trustworthy, and there is no trust for the one who doesn’t fear Allah. Do not

befriend the corrupt, as he will teach you his corruption, and do not reveal your secrets to

him, and only consult those who fear Allah, the Exalted.”

Yahya bin Mu’adh said: “A friend is the one who you don’t have to remind to remember you

in his supplication, and that you don’t have to flatter and impress, and that you don’t have to

apologize to.”

And Abu Ja’far said to his companions: “Can any of you put his hand in the pocket of his

brother and take what he wants?” They replied: “No.” He said: “Then you are not brothers

as you claim.”

(p. 83)

(p. 45)

be overcome by anger or desire, and obey his desire. Thus, there would be no benefit

in befriending him.

you when he wants to benefit you. By intelligent, we mean one he understands things

as they are on his own or if they are explained to him.

(p. 18)


Posted January 12, 2011 by thesunnahway in Naseeha